
Everybody wants to grow. Everybody needs to grow.
But growth can be PAINFUL.
It doesn't matter whether it's personal growth, spiritual growth, or organizational growth. In order to become what we're intended to be, growth is essential.
But what people rarely tell you is that to grow, change is necessary. Just as a child must leave behind his action figures and toy trucks to learn to drive and graduate school - we too must change and move.
When we grow either personally or as a church or organization, we will leave behind or "lose" old patterns, habits, values, and even identities.
The things that we used to hold dear now are what we "used to" do. And even though growth is exciting, fun, and very necessary, there is a cost. Most of the time that "cost" is one we gladly pay because of what we obtain on the other side.
It costs us our comfort of sitting around on the couch, but we're healthier and stronger since we decided to create new habits of exercise and healthy eating. It costs us the ability to know everyone by name, but we're able to now reach hundreds of people where before we were only impacting a dozen. We used to be able to sleep in, but now we're enjoying the effectiveness of our work on a whole new level.
So, growth, while exciting and necessary, requires change. Change costs us something and typically requires us to let go or "lose" something (or things) we held dear before. Most of us simply suck that up and move on, but there's one missing piece to our process that, if not practiced, could hinder current and future growth.
What do we do with "loss"? How do we handle things we've had to let go? The healthy and correct answer is we GRIEVE. Sure, that thing may not even have been desirable, but we leaned on it. It became comfortable and familiar. We must honor those days and grieve that they are no longer a part of our reality. In some cases we can even celebrate what they were and some of their impact on shaping who we are today.
Don't rush through the process. Grieve what you've lost, honor the place it had in your story or the story of your church or organization. It's when we learn to grieve well that we discover how to grow well. No we're not going back to it, in fact if we did it would hinder and harm where we are today. But we honor what it was and grieve that it's no longer present.
Failing to grieve well creates baggage and possibly resentment. Instead of letting go of what was, we just stuff it down only to have it rear its head at the most inopportune times. You have new patterns, new habits, new values and a new or renewed identity. Embrace them and let them carry you to the next level.
Good growth always includes good grief.
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