Leaders, Stop Leading Alone (It’s Not Brave, It’s Dangerous)

Let me tell you the scariest sentence I’ve ever said out loud:

“I think I’m fine.”

If you’ve been in leadership for more than 15 minutes, you’ve probably said it too. Maybe with a weird chuckle. Maybe with your hands on your hips like a little league coach trying to convince himself that yes, this team might finally win a game.

But if we’re honest, “I’m fine” is usually code for:

• I’m tired, but I don’t know how to say it.

• I feel stuck, but I’m afraid it makes me look weak.

• I don’t want to admit that I’m lonely.

• I think I might be heading toward a crash, but I don’t know who to tell or how.

  
  

Here’s the thing. Leaders weren’t meant to lead alone. That lone-wolf, tough-it-out, I-got-this approach might look impressive for a while. But it’s not strong. It’s not noble. It’s not sustainable.

It’s a slow leak. And eventually, it’ll cost you more than you ever intended to pay.

Why We Actually Need Each Other

Let’s break this down. Whether you’re leading a team, a business, a church, or a household, community isn’t optional. It’s essential.

1. Leadership creates isolationThe higher you go, the fewer people really know you. Everyone wants your opinion, your feedback, your time. But who’s asking how you’re really doing?

2. Pressure without support leads to collapseYou’re carrying real weight. Expectations. Decisions. Responsibilities. Without people to share the burden, it will crush you. Not all at once. Quietly. Slowly. Invisibly. Until something breaks.

3. Your blind spots won’t fix themselvesYou can’t see your own shadow. You need people who love you enough to say, “Hey, that thing you keep doing? It’s not working.”

4. You’re not immune to bad decisionsEven if you’re wise. Even if you love Jesus. Even if you’ve been doing this for 20 years. Nobody makes great choices in a vacuum. Accountability doesn’t keep you from being weak. It keeps you from being alone in your weakness.

5. Your influence depends on your integrityAnd integrity doesn’t thrive in secrecy. The less you’re known, the more at risk you are.

So what do we do?

The Path Back to Real Community

This is where it gets practical. Because community isn’t something you find. It’s something you build. And yes, it takes risk. But it’s the only way to keep leading with integrity and still have your soul intact.

1. Create It, Don’t Wait to Find It

Stop waiting for your "people" to magically show up. That dream group of honest, humble, fun, spiritually grounded friends? They’re not hiding in the back of your local coffee shop like it’s a surprise party.

You create community by inviting others in. By modeling vulnerability. By going first.

Want honest conversations? Start one.Want deep connection? Be deeply present.Want accountability? Ask for it.

Is it awkward? Yep. Will it feel forced at first? Probably. But that’s how real community is formed. One brave, slightly uncomfortable invitation at a time.

2. Get Humble Enough to Ask for Help

There’s a reason pride is so sneaky. It wears a mask that looks a lot like strength. But true strength starts with humility.

Leaders, listen. You are not self-sufficient. You were never meant to be.

It’s not weakness to say, “I need help.” It’s wisdom.It’s not failure to say, “I don’t know what to do next.” It’s faith.It’s not embarrassing to say, “I’m struggling.” It’s brave.

Nobody trusts the leader who pretends to have it all together. They trust the leader who tells the truth and keeps growing.

3. Share the Last 10 Percent

Most of us are pretty good at sharing almost everything. The 90 percent stuff: I’m tired. I’m overwhelmed. I had a hard week.

But the last 10 percent? That’s where the real danger lives.

The last 10 percent is the secret temptation. The resentment you haven’t told anyone about. The late-night browsing that’s starting to drift. The way your heart skips a beat when that coworker compliments you.

That’s where marriages fall apart.That’s where pastors lose pulpits.That’s where business leaders get creative with the numbers.

If you never say it out loud, you’ll convince yourself it’s not that bad. Until it is.

But when you share that last 10 percent with someone safe, someone wise, someone willing to call you out and call you up, you give them permission to help you stay whole. To pull you back from the edge. To remind you who you are.

That last 10 percent might feel like shame. But said out loud, it turns into freedom.

You Don’t Need a Crowd. You Just Need a Circle.

Leadership is hard. Trying to do it alone makes it harder. You don’t need a hundred people in your corner. You need a few. The right few. The honest few. The kind who will laugh with you, cry with you, and text you at 2am because something felt off in your voice earlier.

So stop leading alone.

Go first. Get honest. Share the last 10 percent.

And if you don’t have that kind of community yet, start building it today.