Successful and effective leaders know something that others do not. In fact, many of us may wake up and go through the habits of showering, coffee, maybe exercise, etc. But there's an edge that healthy leaders practice every morning before talking with anyone else.
I've been there. Aware of a long to-do list and meetings that needed to happen, I quickly made my way into the office to begin conversing with others and moving the ball down the field, as they say. And before I realized it, I found myself frustrated, maybe sarcastic, critical, or, at worst, losing my cool. Yet, on those days, I couldn't tell you why I was so quick to get angry, and that's because I neglected this one thing.
The reality is that we are often unaware of what's happening inside of us. Since the default of many leaders is to focus on the actions, conversations, and decisions externally, we often live without connecting what's happening in our hearts and minds. EQ, or emotional intelligence, can often focus on understanding what is happening between two individuals without a true awareness of what is happening inside of our own minds.
So, what is the one thing you need to do before talking with ANYONE? Get to know you and WHERE you are at right now. The quickest way I've found to do this is to "Follow the Emotional Thread," which is something I teach my clients to do and also something that is a part of the "Rise Ready Online Course." Following the Emotional Thread means I start by asking myself, "what am I feeling right now?" If you're not used to this, you may need one of the tools we use that will put words to what you are feeling through an assessment process.
Once you know what you are feeling, you will typically record it in clusters. (Most emotions come in two or three feelings at a time.) You will then want to follow those emotions by asking, "Why am I feeling that way?" It may be that you just didn't sleep well, but I would challenge you to dig deeper. It's likely that the lack of sleep only amplifies (not creates) difficult emotions.
If you do this right, you will likely uncover personal insecurities that need to be worked through, anxieties, or fears that have taken on too much power and authority in your life. Often, the process will reveal a relationship or conversation that went south and will require repair. Until those things ARE repaired, you will find that the emotions will stay aggravated.
Emotions are an amazing window into what's really going on inside of us. They provide a wealth of knowledge if you know how to leverage them. This is why I am so excited about our "Rise Ready" online course. It gives leaders the edge they need to be effective in whatever roles they may have.
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