Let’s get something out of the way right now:
We’ve all done it. Blamed the boss for why we’re stuck. Pointed a finger at the company’s broken systems. Maybe even grumbled about a board that “just doesn’t get it.”
And let’s be honest—it feels good to blame. For a moment, it’s a warm blanket of justification. “See? It’s not me—it’s them.”
But here’s the inconvenient truth: You don’t own your boss. You don’t own your board. You don’t even own that coworker who somehow manages to email Reply All every. single. time.
What you do own is far more powerful—and, frankly, a lot harder to manage: You.
The Illusion of Control (and the Power of Ownership)
Here’s the rub: You can’t control most things in life.
Circumstances happen.
People disappoint.
Traffic exists.
But ownership? That’s different. Ownership says, “I may not control what’s happening, but I own how I show up, how I respond, and what I choose to do next.”
And here’s where it gets uncomfortable (but in a growth kind of way): You are 100% responsible for everything you think, feel, and do.
That’s not about perfection—it’s about power. Real power isn’t found in controlling external circumstances. It’s found in owning your internal responses, your choices, and your actions.
Why Leaders Give Away Ownership (Without Realizing It)
Most leaders aren’t out here waving a white flag and saying, “Please, take my power!”
But here’s how it actually happens:
You let stress dictate your reactions instead of responding intentionally.
You blame a toxic culture instead of setting boundaries or having hard conversations.
You wait for permission instead of making the first move.
Every time you do this, you give away a little piece of ownership—and suddenly, you’re stuck. Not because of circumstances but because you’ve handed over the keys to your own growth.
How to Reclaim Ownership:
4 Action Steps That Actually Work
Alright, time to stop waving that white flag and start reclaiming what’s yours. Here’s how:
1. Identify What You Actually OwnAsk yourself: Is this within my control, or is it outside of my ownership?You don’t own your boss’s moods—but you do own how you prepare for meetings or respond to feedback.
2. Watch Your Language (No, Not That Kind)Listen for phrases like “I have to” or “I can’t.”
"I have to work late." → "I’m choosing to work late to hit this deadline."Ownership starts with recognizing your choices—even when they’re tough.
3. Set Boundaries Like a BossStop waiting for the chaos to calm itself down. Boundaries are how you own your energy and time. Saying "no" isn’t selfish—it’s strategic leadership.
4. Take One Brave Action (Today)Ownership isn’t about huge leaps—it’s about small, intentional moves. That difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding? That’s your ownership opportunity knocking.
The Upside of Ownership? Real Change (and Sanity)
Here’s the wild thing: When you stop wasting energy on what you can’t own and start focusing on what you do own, everything changes.
You become the leader who responds instead of reacts. You grow into the person who sets clear boundaries without apology. You make intentional choices that actually move you forward—without burning yourself out in the process.
Ready to Take Back What’s Yours?
This is where The Total Package Playbook comes in.
It’s a free self-assessment designed to help high-capacity leaders like you stop spinning your wheels and start owning your thoughts, actions, and leadership journey.
Inside, you’ll discover where you’re thriving, where you’re stuck, and how to start making intentional choices that align with the leader—and human—you want to be.
📥 [Download The Total Package Playbook]—and take back ownership of what actually belongs to you: you.
Because real leadership starts from the inside out—and it’s time to own every bit of it.
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